So, I’ve been having guilt about Norbert.  He was diagnosed with the big “C” in January of this year.  The cancer is located in his shoulder area around his left front leg, and has become a rather large lump.  When he was diagnosed, after 4 days of talking with the rabbit Vet I decided to not amputate his front leg.  Since Norbert is so small, only 2.5 pounds, he felt the cancer was probably already in his chest cavity, and amputating his leg would not gain him any time, but probably cause him a lot of pain and time recuperating, when he could be living the good life eating his veggies and being spoiled until the end.  The vet and I decided to put him on pain meds (which helped) and evaluate and change his pain meds as time went on.  We honestly didn’t think Norbert would live that long.

Well, it’s been 3 months, Lilly has passed on, and Norbert is now living free in my home office.  He is slower than he used to be, but he’s also 8 years old, which is senior for a bunny, and has one front leg he doesn’t use.  He is still eating good, and can get his move on quickly when I come in with his meals.  So now I’m beginning to have guilt.  I feel like I should have had his leg amputated.  It’s been three months and he’s still doing as well as he was in January.  Which is pretty good for an old bunny.  If I’d had it done, he would be recovered and and his fur would be growing in.

I talked to JH yesterday to get his thoughts since he tends to be my sounding board for things like this.  He doesn’t judge me about spending lots of money on what most people feel is “just a bunny”, but is honest if he thinks I should move forward or not based on the quality of life the animal in question will have.  I think I have decided to take Norbert to the vet when I get back from my business trip, and talk to the vet again and make a decision.  Right now, I’m leaning towards having the amputation done.  I think it will give him more room to move around, get rid of what is basically a useles leg, and get rid of that lump growing on his side.  Then, once the vet is in there, we can tell what the status of his cancer actually is, and get a better idea of time frames.

However, I’m still hesitating because am I doing this for him, or because I just lost Lilly, and thought of losing him so close behind her is terrifying?  Am I contemplating throwing all this medicine at him hoping for some kind of miracle, when really I should leave him in peace?  My biggest fear when I make these types of decisions for any of my animals, is am I doing it for them, or am I doing it because I’m a selfish human and can’t bear to let them go?

Thoughts?  Comments?

UPDATE:

The Vet agrees with the decision I made three months ago to not ampute Norberts front leg.  So we are going to leave him be.  On another note, since he has been so sneezy, and then got snotty while I was in Peru, we did a culture and started him on some antibiotics which seems to be helping.

Sweet little Lilly went to the Rainbow Bridge yesterday.

After years of dealing with her teeth issues, and having surgery time and again to maintain the problem, it turns out her body just couldn’t fight anymore.  She went into the vet to have an exam because she wasn’t eating, and it turns out her teeth were a mess once again.  Just a mere 4 months after her last molar float.  Dr. Riggan put her under to remove several molars and float others hoping to give her a more permanent and long lasting solution and she passed away while under anesthesia.

Surrendered at a shelter I worked at 8 years ago, I pulled her off the euthanasia list and adopted her, even though I knew she would have lifelong issues with her teeth.  She was just so sweet I couldn’t help myself.  A favorite of the vets who have treated her, numerous pet sitters, and lots of friends, she will most definitely be missed.

Rest in peace little “Nilla Bean”.

My whole life, I have been a HUGE reader.  There is a scene in “Anne of Green Gables” (the movie) where Anne’s teacher, Miss Stacey catches her reading during geometry class, and her book gets confiscated. That was me, I had many books taken during class, though I always got them back at the end of the day.  (As a teacher how do you tell a kid she can’t read?)

I read anything and everything I could get my hands on, and my favorite book store was the “Book Nook” in Central Lake, Michigan.  We had a summer home there and when I was growing up I spent enormous amounts of time there talking to the guy who owned the store, and making piles of books I wanted to buy.  It was a used book store, and I loved the smells of the old books, and the towering shelves filled with stories waiting to be read.  Many mornings friends would call the cottage looking for me, and my mom would tell them I was in town at the book store.  When I got finished at the “Book Nook” I would spend the rest of the day at the end of the dock reading whatever treasures I’d purchased.

Well, the “Book Nook” has been gone for several years now.  I am living in Texas, and I only get back to the cottage once a year to read at the end of the dock.  Which meant that in the past several years my reading declined to the point where I was hardly reading at all.  About a year and a half ago, my friend ‘K’ pushed me back into the reading arena.  She is a huge reader, and was tired of the fact I wasn’t keeping up with her like I used to.

Well it worked, and for the past year and a half, I have been reading like a fiend, catching up for lost time, and I can’t believe I went that long not reading.  I am once again burying my nose in a book every night, who needs T.V. anyway, after dinner until bed time.  Since my books were starting to accumulate all over the house, my husband had this great idea to build me a “Book Nook” in the corner of the living room.  With a bunch of book shelves, and my favorite chair.  I’m in heaven.  It’s perfect, and was the greatest idea ever. However, my books are quickly out growing my shelves, so something will need to be done.  I haven’t decided quite what yet.  I’ll keep you posted.